There are things that happen in your life that force you to mature and really try to get a grip on the decisions you have made in your life. Death is one of those things. My grandmother died in August and I am finally at a point where I can discuss it without becoming so emotional. There are very few people who will have the impact on your life like the family members who had a hand in raising you. While I come from a two parent home where my parents were actively involved in all aspects of my life, I also had young energetic grandparents who were always rooting for me. In those moments it is hard to ever imagine them not being there. My grandmother battled with kidney diseases and was on dialysis for the past few years. No matter how sick she got she always pulled through and I began to believe she was invincible :) She was a strong woman who worked hard to hold her family together when everyone was stressing over the daily troubles in life. Her "prayer game" was impeccable and I fervently believe that I was guarded from so many things because I had a praying Grandmother. Her soft voice, encouraging words, and love always encouraged me. She never failed to call at the moments when I needed her most. She saw my creativity and challenged me to do bigger things. She loved to brag on her grandkids and was always ready to hear all my crazy stories. In Drake's words... She was the best (grandma) I ever had! I miss her but I know it is my obligation to continue to live out her legacy. She never accepted complacency and wanted all her grandkids to accomplish their dreams.
It wasn't until a got older that I realized how much of a daunting task it is to "accomplish your dreams". I realized that I had been off track for a while and now it is time for me to get my act together. I always saw myself as the young, fun, girl trying to find my path in life but then I realized I am not so young anymore and it is time to be serious about some things. It is unfortunate that it took a death to bring me to reality, but I think sometimes loosing a big support system can have that "bring you back to reality" effect. So with all that said... I now understand people when they say I am accomplishing this for my mother, father, or grandparent. I owe it to myself and the others who have helped me. I am standing on broad shoulders and have a great foundation to keep building. Words of Advice: I know it sounds so cliche but cherish those moments, do not take for granted the sacrifices others have made to make things better for you. And it is never to early to start accomplishing life goals.
I love my grandmother for all she sowed into my life. I see her in my facial expressions, I hear her admonitions in my spirit, and I feel her comforting arms when I have troubled nights.
Sandra Mariah Aycock.....
You will always have my Heart
